Humor: funny stories and jokes

A guy and a girl are in a bar, they are both pretty drunk. The guy says to the girl "you wanna go back to my place?" The girl says "sure!" So they arrive at his house, he says "hey, you know I've always had this thing I want to do!" She says "what is it?" He says "Nevermind you'll think I'm weird!" She says "I like new things." He says "ok, I have always wanted to do a girl with my big toe!" She says "ok, I'm down for that!" So he does her with his big toe and goes to sleep! He wakes up and she is gone! He looks down and his toe is fat, green, and puss is running out of it! So he goes to the doctor. The doctor examines it and goes out of the room. He comes back in and the guy says "so what is it doc?" The doc says "you have a case of gonarrhea of the big toe!" The guy says "that's probably the weirdest thing you've ever seen huh?" The doctor says "Actually no. A girl came in here about an hour ago with athlete's cunt!"