Humor: funny stories and jokes

A woman and her lover are in bed when her husband arrives home early. She jumps up, shoves her lover in a corner of the room, rubs him down with baby oil and douses him in talcum powder.
"Don't move!" she whispers. "Act like a statue!"
When the husband enters the bedroom, he compliments his wife on the new decoration. She explains that the Smith family next door recently acquired a similar statue for their bedroom, and if they could get one, so could she. The couple then go to bed. At midnight the husband sneaks downstairs, gets a glass of milk and some cookies and returns upstairs. He hands the snack to the statue.
"Here," he says. "I stood around for three days at the Smiths' house and they never fed me a thing!"