Forum: Humor: funny stories and jokes
01-15-2008, 08:15 AM
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Replies: 0
Views: 377
UFO's and smart blondes
Q: What do UFO's and smart blondes have in common?
A: You keep hearing about them, but never see any.
Q: Why don't blondes make good pharmacists?
A: They can't get the bottle into the...
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Forum: Humor: funny stories and jokes
01-13-2008, 09:22 AM
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Replies: 0
Views: 289
Naming animals
There are some children in a class naming animals and they come across a picture of a deer.
So the teacher asks Bobby, “What is this animal called?”
“I dunno,” claims Bobby.
So then she says,...
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Forum: Humor: funny stories and jokes
01-11-2008, 07:36 AM
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Replies: 0
Views: 290
A blonde and a light bulb
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a light bulb?
A: The light bulb is smarter, but the blonde is easier to turn on.
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Forum: Humor: funny stories and jokes
01-09-2008, 08:11 AM
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Replies: 0
Views: 370
A theft
Our local drugstore was robbed of 500 bottles of Viagra.
The suspect is known to be a hardened criminal!
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Forum: Humor: funny stories and jokes
01-07-2008, 09:37 AM
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Replies: 0
Views: 354
A fat woman and a skinny woman
A fat woman and a skinny woman were sitting together at a restaurant.
"Men prefer thin women," said the skinny woman.
"Really? Did your boyfriend tell you that?" said the fat one.
"No, your...
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Forum: Humor: funny stories and jokes
01-05-2008, 08:35 AM
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Replies: 0
Views: 276
Who talks more?
A husband, proving to his wife that women talk more than men, showed her a study which indicated that men use (on the average) only 15,000 words a day, whereas women use 30,000 words a day.
She...
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Forum: Humor: funny stories and jokes
01-03-2008, 08:51 AM
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Replies: 0
Views: 343
The president
The president was out walking on a beautiful snowy day, when he saw that somebody had urinated on the White House lawn to spell out "The president Sucks." Infuriated, he called on the secret service...
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Forum: Humor: funny stories and jokes
12-29-2007, 09:07 AM
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Replies: 0
Views: 340
Ma and Pa
Ma and Pa are sitting on the front porch swing, rocking. Pa says to Ma, "Screw you Ma."
A minute goes by, and Ma says to Pa, "Screw you Pa."
Again, a minute goes by, and Pa says to Ma, "Screw you...
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Forum: Humor: funny stories and jokes
12-27-2007, 08:12 AM
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Replies: 0
Views: 297
Honeymoon
A man and his wife were on their honeymoon. The husband took off his pants and handed them to his wife.
"See if they fit."
"They don't."
"Now you see who will wear the pants in this house." She...
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Forum: Humor: funny stories and jokes
12-26-2007, 08:02 AM
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Replies: 0
Views: 304
A blonde painter
A man requested a blonde painter to paint him in the nude.
"No," the talented blonde artist said. "I don't do that sort of thing."
"I'll increase your fee two times," he said.
"No, no thanks!!"...
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Forum: Humor: funny stories and jokes
12-23-2007, 08:15 AM
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Replies: 0
Views: 308
Three nuns
Three nuns die, but they all have to answer one question to get into heaven. The first nun is asked who the first man on earth was. She replies, "Oh that's easy, Adam!" Lights flash and the pearly...
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Forum: Humor: funny stories and jokes
12-21-2007, 08:16 AM
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Replies: 0
Views: 312
Libido
The older a woman gets, the stronger her libido gets and the older a man gets, the weaker his libido gets... which is why nature intended young guys to go out with older women and young women to go...
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Forum: Humor: funny stories and jokes
12-19-2007, 07:52 AM
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Replies: 0
Views: 528
Two Italian men
A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They seat themselves, and engage in animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation at first, but her attention is galvanized...
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Forum: Humor: funny stories and jokes
12-15-2007, 09:30 AM
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Replies: 0
Views: 304
Q&A
Q: Have you ever read that married men live longer than single men?
A: What they don't tell you is that married men are much more willing to die.
Q: Why does a man's penis have a hole in it?
A:...
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Forum: Humor: funny stories and jokes
12-13-2007, 07:06 AM
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Replies: 0
Views: 337
Perfect penis
Little Johnny walked in one day on his daddy in the bathroom. He asked his father what that was hanging between his legs. His father replied that it was the perfect penis. The next day at school,...
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Forum: Humor: funny stories and jokes
12-11-2007, 07:45 AM
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Replies: 0
Views: 306
Inkblots
This guy goes to a psychiatrist. The doctor shows him an inkblot and asks him what it looks like.
"A naked woman." He shows him another inkblot and asks him the same question.
"A naked woman on a...
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Forum: Humor: funny stories and jokes
12-09-2007, 08:22 AM
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Replies: 0
Views: 491
Wonderful weekend
Sam and a beautiful woman walk into a very posh Beverly Hills furrier. "Show the lady your finest mink!" the fellow exclaims. So the owner of the shop goes in back and comes out with an absolutely...
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Forum: Humor: funny stories and jokes
12-07-2007, 07:33 AM
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Replies: 0
Views: 315
Naked grandpa
A man was walking down the street when he noticed his grandpa sitting on the porch, in the rocking chair, with nothing on from the waist down. "Grandpa, what are you doing?" he exclaimed.
The old...
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Forum: Humor: funny stories and jokes
12-05-2007, 07:22 AM
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Replies: 0
Views: 307
Buying meat
One day, a wife goes up to her husband and asks for twenty dollars to buy meat.
"Are you crazy?" says the husband, who pulls her over to a mirror. "Let me show you something? This twenty-dollar bill...
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Forum: Humor: funny stories and jokes
12-03-2007, 07:52 AM
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Replies: 0
Views: 301
A dilemma
A guy enters a bar and he finds a friend of his. So he sits down with his friend and tells him, "Friend, I got a dilemma." The friend asks him, "What's the problem?" He says, "Well, I went on my...
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Forum: Humor: funny stories and jokes
12-01-2007, 09:19 AM
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Replies: 0
Views: 296
Heaven clocks
There was this guy named John that went to heaven. He looked around and saw millions of clocks, some were slow and some were fast. He went to God to ask a question.
"What's the deal with all these...
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Forum: Humor: funny stories and jokes
11-29-2007, 08:19 AM
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Replies: 0
Views: 353
Growing vegetables
Once there was a beautiful woman who loved to work in her vegetable garden, but no matter what she did, she couldn't get her tomatoes to ripen. Admiring her neighbor's garden, which had beautiful...
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Forum: Humor: funny stories and jokes
11-27-2007, 08:54 AM
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Replies: 0
Views: 302
Kinds of rings
There are three kinds of rings: the engagement ring, the wedding ring and the suffeRing.
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Forum: Humor: funny stories and jokes
11-25-2007, 07:34 AM
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Replies: 0
Views: 333
An escaped convict
An escaped convict broke into a house and tied up a young couple who had been sleeping in the bedroom.
As soon as he had a chance, the husband turned to his voluptuous young wife, bound up on the...
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Forum: Humor: funny stories and jokes
11-23-2007, 07:42 AM
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Replies: 0
Views: 344
Dad and son
A couple had been married for many years, and their son had gotten old enough to date. One day the boy brought a girl over to diner. The mother was thrilled with her son's choice and couldn't wait...
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