Forum: Humor: funny stories and jokes
10-10-2008, 06:44 AM
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Replies: 0
Views: 202
Sex is like...
Sex is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest.
How do you know when a man's going to say something intelligent?
He starts his sentence with "A woman told me..."
...
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Forum: Humor: funny stories and jokes
10-08-2008, 06:54 AM
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Replies: 0
Views: 222
What is the perfect wife?
Q: What is the perfect wife?
A: A good-looking, sex-craved, chef who owns a liquor store.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
A: When you smack the mosquito it stops...
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Forum: Humor: funny stories and jokes
10-06-2008, 06:27 AM
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Replies: 0
Views: 186
The best sex ever
This couple have just met in a bar, really hit it off and gone back to her place to have wild, passionate sex. After they have finished he lies back with a smug look on his face, "I guess that was...
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Forum: Humor: funny stories and jokes
10-04-2008, 08:26 AM
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Replies: 0
Views: 169
A blond guy
A blond guy visits the hospital. "I want to be castrated!" he demands cheerfully.
"Are you sure about this?" the doctor asks. "Have you discussed it with your wife?"
"Yes, yes! I've thought...
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Forum: Humor: funny stories and jokes
10-02-2008, 07:38 AM
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Replies: 0
Views: 170
Why doesn't a woman need a car?
Q: Why doesn't a woman need a car?
A: Because you don't need a car to get from the bedroom to the kitchen.
A very well-built young blonde lady was lying on her psychiatrist's couch, telling him...
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Forum: Humor: funny stories and jokes
09-30-2008, 07:22 AM
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Replies: 0
Views: 189
Big over-spenders
There was a couple who were big over-spenders. They always dreamed to spend holidays in Hawaii, but were never able to save any money to do so. One day they came up with an idea - each time they...
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Forum: Humor: funny stories and jokes
09-28-2008, 07:15 AM
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Replies: 0
Views: 266
Three men in a stripper bar
Three men went into a stripper bar and this stripper came over to them and started to shake her ass. The first guy goes, "Watch this," so he licks a 50 dollar bill and sticks it on her ass. The...
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Forum: Humor: funny stories and jokes
09-26-2008, 07:02 AM
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Replies: 0
Views: 200
Unhappy old man
An old man is sitting on a park bench crying his eyes out. A young jogger comes by and asks him what is the matter.
The old man says, "I'm a multimillionare, I have a great big house, the fastest...
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Forum: Humor: funny stories and jokes
09-24-2008, 07:28 AM
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Replies: 0
Views: 189
Having children is an Act of God
The new minister's wife had a baby. The minister appealed to the congregation for a salary increase to cover the addition to the family. The congregation agreed that it was only fair, and approved...
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Forum: Humor: funny stories and jokes
09-22-2008, 07:15 AM
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Replies: 0
Views: 196
Sunbathing
A woman was staying at a hotel and she decided to go sunbathing on the hotel roof. When she laid down to sun her back, her bikini top fell off. She didn't care so much, though, because nobody ever...
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Forum: Humor: funny stories and jokes
09-20-2008, 07:46 AM
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Replies: 0
Views: 176
Blowing bubbles
Three ducks were swimming in a pond after midnight and were arrested for trespassing. The next morning, they were called to appear in court. The judge called in duck number one and said, "What where...
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Forum: Humor: funny stories and jokes
09-18-2008, 06:17 AM
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Replies: 0
Views: 180
Stuck
A young girl and her boyfriend are driving down the road one day. Her boyfriend suggests that they play road games and that whoever loses has to strip. They play every game known to man and the girl...
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Forum: Humor: funny stories and jokes
09-16-2008, 07:12 AM
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Replies: 0
Views: 174
You'll be disappointed!
Jane was sitting in anatomy class on day when her teacher asked her a question. He inquired, “What grows to 10 times its original size when excited?”
Jane blushed and said that she didn't know....
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Forum: Humor: funny stories and jokes
09-13-2008, 07:46 AM
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Replies: 0
Views: 174
Good, bad, worse
Good: Your children are sexually active.
Bad: With each other
Worse: And your wife.
Good: Hot outdoor sex.
Bad: Getting arrested.
Worse: By your husband
Good: The teacher likes your son....
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Forum: Humor: funny stories and jokes
09-11-2008, 07:09 AM
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Replies: 0
Views: 178
$100
Question: Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, a smart blonde, and a dumb blonde are walking down the street. They spot a $100 on the ground. Who gets it?
Answer: Nobody. The first...
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Forum: Humor: funny stories and jokes
09-09-2008, 07:40 AM
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Replies: 0
Views: 225
How to impress a woman/man
How to impress a woman:
1) Wine her.
2) Dine her.
3) Call her.
4) Hug her.
5) Hold her.
6) Surprise her.
7) Compliment her.
8) Smile at her.
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Forum: Humor: funny stories and jokes
09-07-2008, 07:36 AM
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Replies: 0
Views: 258
Stuffed animals
A guy met a girl at a nightclub, and she invited him back to her place for the night.
When they arrived at her house, they went right into her bedroom. The guy saw that the room was filled with...
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Forum: Humor: funny stories and jokes
09-05-2008, 06:45 AM
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Replies: 0
Views: 183
After the wedding
A typical macho man married typical good-looking woman and, after the wedding, laid down the following rules: "I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want -- and I don't expect any...
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Forum: Humor: funny stories and jokes
09-03-2008, 07:46 AM
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Replies: 0
Views: 164
Zip code
A blonde says to her psychiatrist, "I'm on the road a lot, and my clients are complaining that they can never reach me."
He replies, "Don't you have a phone in your car?"
She says, "That was a...
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Forum: Humor: funny stories and jokes
09-01-2008, 04:24 AM
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Replies: 0
Views: 160
Pub
Joe tells his wife he is heading out to the pub for a drink. His wife starts complaining that he's always at the pub and never takes her anywhere anymore. After hours of complaining, the husband...
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Forum: Humor: funny stories and jokes
08-29-2008, 06:57 AM
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Replies: 0
Views: 371
How many men have you slept with?
A guy walked up to a beautiful young woman in a bar. "Do you mind if I ask you a personal question?" he said to her.
"I don't know," replied the beautiful young woman. "It depends how personal it...
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Forum: Humor: funny stories and jokes
08-27-2008, 06:48 AM
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Replies: 0
Views: 338
Olympic condoms
A man is out shopping and discovers a new brand of Olympic condoms. Clearly impressed, he buys a pack. Upon getting home he announces to his wife the purchase he just made.
"Olympic condoms?" she...
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Forum: Humor: funny stories and jokes
08-25-2008, 06:50 AM
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Replies: 0
Views: 166
Class of 3rd graders
A teacher asks her class of 3rd graders to use the word "fascinate" in a sentence. She calls on a small boy sitting in the front row.
"I saw an airshow. And it was very fascinating."
"Good, but I...
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Forum: Humor: funny stories and jokes
08-23-2008, 06:54 AM
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Replies: 0
Views: 169
Perfect woman
Q: What is the definition of the perfect woman?
A: A deaf and dumb blonde nymphomaniac whose father owns a pub.
Sherlock Holmes and Watson were walking through a park, when they passed three...
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Forum: Humor: funny stories and jokes
08-21-2008, 06:46 AM
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Replies: 0
Views: 222
P.A. system
A 747 was starting its descent and the pilot had forgotten to turn off the P.A. system.
"As soon as I clock off" he said, "I'm going to have a nice cold beer and then screw the arse off that blonde...
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