Sex is like...

[funmonger]

Sex is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest.

How do you know when a man's going to say something intelligent?
He starts his sentence with "A woman told me..."

"My wife is an angel."
"Lucky you. Mine's still alive."

A little boy was in his room playing with himself, when his father walked in.
"Son! If you masturbate too much, you're gonna go blind!"
"Dad," the boy said, "I'm over here."