Dirty gags
 

A man walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm. His wife is busy reading when he walks in, and she sets her book down into her lap when she hears him say "Honey, this is the pig I fuck when you have a headache."

She looks at him puzzled, and says "Dear, if you look closely, you’ll see that’s a sheep, not a pig".

He looks at her... and says "If you look even closer, you’ll see that I’m not talking to you."

An old man walks into the dentist office and has a very bad tooth ache, the dentist calls him back into the room and checks out the tooth. The dentist tells him I’ll have to pull it out, it’s too gone to fix. The dentist gets the novacane and the patient tells him I can’t take that I am allergic to it...so the dentist pulls out the laughing gas...the patient says I can’t take that either, I am allergic to it! So the dentist getting mad now leaves the room....he comes back and hands the guy two pills to take. The patient takes the pills...then asks the dentist, what were those pills? The dentist looks at him and says Viagara.....the patient says Viagara???? the dentist says....sure is, you are going to need something to hold onto while I pull your tooth!