Pinocchio and sandpaper
 

One day Pinocchio came to Gepetto with a problem.
"Every time I have sex with my girlfriend, she gets splinters. What can I do about this?"
"Have you tried sandpaper?" Pinocchio hadn't, so he went to try it.
"Pinnochio," said Gepetto a few weeks later. "How is the problem work out with your
"Girlfriend?" said Pinnochio. "Who needs a girlfriend when you have sandpaper?"